1 |
I
realised I was dyslexic when I went
to a toga party dressed as a goat.
Marcus
Brigstocke
|
2 |
Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks?
Adam
Bloom |
3 |
It's
easy to distract fat people. It's
a piece of cake.
|
4 |
The
world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and
punched someone in the face.
Jeremy
Limb |
5 |
Cats
have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.
|
6 |
My
dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian,
which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.
Patrick
Monahan |
7 |
I
enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I'm not very good at it.
Arnold
Brown |
8 |
A
dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please".
The
hardware store owner says: "We don't hire
dogs, why don't you go join the circus?"
The
dog replies: "What would the circus want with a plumber".
Steven
Alan Green |
9 |
The
dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died... Dido must be sh***ing herself.
Colin
& Fergus |
10 |
If
you're being chased by a police dog,
try not to go through a tunnel,
then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're
trained for that.
Milton
Jones
|
| |
5
September 2005 |
| |
|
