1 | I
realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party
dressed as a goat. Marcus
Brigstocke |
2 |
Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain
if blind people were given pointed sticks? Adam
Bloom |
3 | It's
easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.
|
4 | The
world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots
and
punched someone in the face. Jeremy
Limb |
5 | Cats
have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.
|
6 | My
dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that
we spent most of our family holidays in Customs. Patrick
Monahan |
7 | I
enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation
- but I'm not very good at it. Arnold
Brown |
8 | A
dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please". The
hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs,
why don't you go join the circus?" The
dog replies: "What would the circus want with a plumber". Steven
Alan Green |
9 | The
dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died... Dido
must be sh***ing herself. Colin
& Fergus |
10 | If
you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go
through a tunnel,
then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of
fire. They're
trained for that. Milton
Jones |
| | 5
September 2005 |
| | |
