[On discovering champagne, probably apocryphal]

"Come quickly, I am tasting stars!"

Dom Perignon

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Mark Twain

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Unknown

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Unknown

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Unknown