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Nomination For Best Disclaimer In An Email 2008 - American Mustache Institute

Email Disclaimer Joys

Comedy website the American Mustache Institute has just been nominated for email disclaimer of the year 2008 by theVoiceofReason.com.

We have always found those disclaimers at the bottom of emails from banks and insurance companies to be far too stuffy and legalese.

Well, the American Mustache Institute wrote to us and the email ended like this:

Disclaimer: AMI supports healthy, performance enhancing-free mustaches that contain no pesticides. Mustaches should be worn at the individual's own risk, and AMI is not responsible for mustaches that make men look like child molesters or Dave Navarro. Wearing a "Dictator" mustache may lead to repeated beatings. Mustaches should not be worn by women who hope to find employment outside of waste collection or who are looking for male companionship. If your mustache causes you to have an erection for more than four hours, seek immediate attention from a doctor, spouse, girlfriend, or Dave Navarro. In extremely rare cases, mustaches may cause significant decreases in sexual activity, friendships, and approval by society at large. Unibrows, commonly referred to as "forehead mustaches," are not recognized by AMI. AMI does not support chin coverage (i.e. beards, goatees) as they represent the "spousal compromise." The vast majority of mustache wearers have highly positive responses from friends, exotic dancers and grade school teachers. AMI strongly encourages consulting a physician before exploring your personal mustache capabilities, as premature mustache growth may lead to feelings of despair and depression. AMI cautions against trusting clean-shaven officers of the law. If a mustache-free constable attempts to stop your vehicle, dial 911 and proceed to the nearest police station, where a squadron of heavily mustached officers will greet you with open arms. Please consider the environment before shaving your mustache.

*This was NOT sent from a Blackberry, as mustached Americans don’t own, nor have the ability, to operate Blackberrys.

 

Today we call on all banks and insurance companies to rewrite their disclaimers so that they are better than the one above.

 

Have you seen a disclaimer on an email better than the one above? We want to hear about it. Perhaps you can write a better one, send them all to editor@thevoiceofreason.com

 

 
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