Edinburgh, Scotland: David MacGregor, 28 months in prison, has finally been put behind bars after a grand total of 85 convictions, some hilarious.

He was originally convicted in 2002 for a jewel theft. The owners of the house returned to find him mid-robbery so he swallowed three diamond rings. He then jumped out of the window but slipped and fell on the ground. He was arrested later but, after denying he had the rings, was X-rayed and the rings were then discovered.

His other hilarious exploits include:

• He tried to conceal a weapon (an axe which he put up his sleeve) but it fell out during a confrontation in his LOCAL PUB. The regulars identified him to police.
• He also tried to swindle his local Co-op (he was a regular there and the staff knew his name) by passing off a fake £10 note. He was heard to say "I got a result" as he left the store.
• He tried to use a woman's stolen bank card to buy 400 cigarettes and £50 cash. The store was suspicious because it had a woman's name on the card.