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Real Funny Horoscopes

Virgo Horoscope

September 2014

A new baby, or a wild animal that likes nothing better than to scream at the top of its high, screechy, range, is about to enter your life in the most unexpected of ways. Stock up on baby food and dried animal pellets, always favoring products with banana or papaya in them.

You have worked hard to rebuild your shattered self esteem - now may be the time to assert yourself carefully with a junior salesperson.

Flinging things violently into lamp shades is well starred until well into the New Year.

Your favored colored sock this month will be red.

Horoscopes:
Aries Mar 20 - Apr 19
Taurus Apr 20 - May 19
Gemini May 20 - Jun 20
Cancer Jun 21 - Jul 21
Leo Jul 22 - Aug 22
Virgo Aug 23 - Sept 21
Libra Sept 22 - Oct 22
Scorpio Oct 23 - Nov 21
Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21
Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 17
Pisces Feb 18 - Mar 19