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Real Funny Horoscopes

Sagittarius Horoscope

September 2014

Your boating based contingency plans will go awry spectacularly on the 15th.

Mercury's moment of prenambulant hypertension suggests malarkey is well starred.

Beware men in orange socks and bow ties not from a circus.

You are in danger of a Jamie Lee Curtis type experience with a man wearing a hockey mask unless you floss daily.

Horoscopes:
Aries Mar 20 - Apr 19
Taurus Apr 20 - May 19
Gemini May 20 - Jun 20
Cancer Jun 21 - Jul 21
Leo Jul 22 - Aug 22
Virgo Aug 23 - Sept 21
Libra Sept 22 - Oct 22
Scorpio Oct 23 - Nov 21
Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21
Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 17
Pisces Feb 18 - Mar 19