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Real Funny Horoscopes

Gemini Horoscope

September 2014

An argument you once had with a school friend in the 1980's that you thought had been forgotten about, is set to annoy you once again this month (vinyl is much better than cassette tapes says Saturn)

Check that the electricity company hasn't wired up a street light to your house supply by switching off your supply and watching whether street lights go on or off at least twice this month. (Remember that they might have wired up a street light not in immediate sight of your house.)

Phallic symbols not exclusively involving leprechauns will make this month fulfilling in more ways than the aesthetic.

Aries Mar 20 - Apr 19
Taurus Apr 20 - May 19
Gemini May 20 - Jun 20
Cancer Jun 21 - Jul 21
Leo Jul 22 - Aug 22
Virgo Aug 23 - Sept 21
Libra Sept 22 - Oct 22
Scorpio Oct 23 - Nov 21
Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21
Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 17
Pisces Feb 18 - Mar 19