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Real Funny Horoscopes

Capricorn Horoscope

September 2014

Moist face towels will be in short supply around the 17th due to reasons that will become apparent on the 12th.

Bending over with your bottom in the air should be avoided after the 6th, especially if you are wearing tight fitting skirts and have inquisitive house pets.

Beware argumentative dwarfs with a penchant for singing rugby songs and tackling below the knee.

Horoscopes:
Aries Mar 20 - Apr 19
Taurus Apr 20 - May 19
Gemini May 20 - Jun 20
Cancer Jun 21 - Jul 21
Leo Jul 22 - Aug 22
Virgo Aug 23 - Sept 21
Libra Sept 22 - Oct 22
Scorpio Oct 23 - Nov 21
Sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21
Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19
Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 17
Pisces Feb 18 - Mar 19