Aries - March 2014 - Funny Horoscope

A salesman's cold call to your work number will introduce you to a whole new world of discount shopping on the 4th. You will be drawn to a snazzy sofa and chair set which will go well in your lounge - however the coverings will wear out suddenly three days after the one year guarantee expires.

Puddings with currants in are well starred after the 16th but only if eaten with a counterclockwise spoon movement.

Jupiter is about to enter a period of hostility with your type. It may be useful to learn an ancient Jupiter prayer in a pathetic attempt to placate this awesomely powerful planetary warrior.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19