Cancer - September 2013 - Funny Horoscope

On hearing an Elton John song on a radio station you will decide to buy one of his albums, but you will buy the wrong one - Saturn is fond of his early work on the Yellow Brick Road album, however Mercury and it's moons favor his Greatest Hits. Their indecision will confuse you in a record store and an assistant will not be able to help, other than by offering you a seat.

Whilst attending your aerobics session on the 5th a small bird will fly into the building and decide to buzz you Maverick from Top Gun style for no apparent reason. Even though you are a devout animal lover the only way to get this sucker to stop dive bombing you is to beat it up. You will undoubtedly pay a high price for this in the karmic scale of things at a later date, but the immediate benefits, ie of being able to finish your workout with all your hair on you head, well outweigh this.

 

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