This month, cycling is poorly starred.
wheelie-ing on your bicycle on your way to the shops on the 18th, you will be photographed by a traffic
camera going through a red traffic light, and, when coming back, you will leave
a trail of sugar from a punctured bag - this will attract cats from the neighbourhood
who will, while trying to eat the sugar, cause a ten car pile up and the injury
of two people, one of them a member of a local Soprano's type family who will then get his heavies to follow the sugar trail to your home.
slapping anyone's bottom on 20th for fear that this could be misconstrued in the
exact opposite way you intended it to be.