Pisces - August 2013 - Funny Horoscope

This month, cycling is poorly starred.

While wheelie-ing on your bicycle on your way to the shops on the 18th, you will be photographed by a traffic camera going through a red traffic light, and, when coming back, you will leave a trail of sugar from a punctured bag - this will attract cats from the neighbourhood who will, while trying to eat the sugar, cause a ten car pile up and the injury of two people, one of them a member of a local Soprano's type family who will then get his heavies to follow the sugar trail to your home.

Avoid slapping anyone's bottom on 20th for fear that this could be misconstrued in the exact opposite way you intended it to be.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19