Aries - August 2013 - Funny Horoscope

In a previous life you were a chess Grand Master. Challenge anyone nearby to an impromptu chess match on 8th, after a few drinks. You will find yourself toying with their backward chess playing skills for a little, like a kitten with a ball of wool, before tearing their chess playing dreams to shreds with your Queen and Knight using a little understood pincer manoeuvre - the exact same move you used to beat the King of Prussia with in 1878 that got you executed for being a smarty pants. Will you ever learn?

Avoid buying a new hat on 24th even though it matches your shoes.

 

This feature is brought to you by theVoiceofReason.com

© theVoiceofReason.com 2000 onwards
 
Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19