Gemini - July 2013 - Funny Horoscope

It's like you have been jogging up and down on this piece of ground for ages, never making any progress - you are starting to feel disheartened, disheveled, in need of a thorough frisking (in the airport security sense)...

Your luck is about to change this month as Jupiter noose-whips Pluto on it's Gander Phase Disney style.

Trips to feed the ducks in a public park are well starred, especially with white bread 4 days past its sell-by date. Break bread into small bite-sized pieces and throw liberally into the water around the birds BUT DO NOT aim at the duck's heads, which is a typically cruel Gemini tendency.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19