Scorpio - May 2013 - Funny Horoscope

Space aliens will continue to make sporadic entries into your consciousness unless effective measures are taken to eliminate them with aluminium or silver foil hats, this month. Be especially on your guard against alien-inspired middle management in all of its forms.

Your lucky sport this month will be synchronized swimming, especially favouring the back stroke. For those who can't swim, ensure you put any buoyancy aides in the chest region to emphasis the size of your breasts if you are female or around your waist if you are a man.

Do not hesitate to slap down (using the method of a frown) any noisy dogs in a dispute over bones.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19