Aries - May 2013 - Funny Horoscope

Your spasms of uncontrollable anger and senselessly aggressive arguing has not gone unnoticed by the planets. You will soon be approached with an offer to take this talent on to a professional level.

A new job you have been offered seems unbelievably, ludicrously, well paid. Thoroughly go over the small print in the contract, and check on Google how many rough looking men in their 30's named Vinny work for the company before signing on the dotted line.

Your lucky sport this month will be football (soccer) including low levels of hooliganism limited to throwing soft missiles including pencil erasers and blueberry muffins.

Take refuge in your gruff persona daily until 11am.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19