Gemini - April 2013 - Funny Horoscope

Your life is about to take on elements of a prison escape movie, including spotlights being shone on you from afar.

Avoid wearing black and white stripes throughout the month and in particular politely decline invitations to dress as a Zebra or Bumble Bee until well into dusk after the 30th.

A cup of tea you brew on the 8th will be influenced by a storm on Saturn's near side, with a 5% greater than usual chance of a spill or lip burn. An oversized crunchy cookie is well starred, with dunking the preferred course of action in the ratio 60-40.

An overweight woman will park her car in an awkward position which may only be ultimately resolvable by hearty laughter and pain control tablets.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19