Sagittarius - March 2013 - Funny Horoscope

Welcome processed meat in all of its forms especially if it is in tins, frozen, or if the best before date has been slightly exceeded by only a month, or if the words value or essentials is in the title of the budget brand.

A pot of tea brewed around dusk on the 18th will offer magical powers but only if served in expensive china cups and brewed whilst reciting an incantation that includes the names of at least three cats you have known: stir in a clockwise motion and ensure you put the milk in after pouring the tea for maximum magicality.

This month Mars will once again offer a chocolate based solution to a moment of snack based flash hunger.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19