A mysterious thick fog will fall upon your early morning getting-ready-for-work ablutions up until the 18th.

You have waited long enough to tell a close friend how you really feel. Use the opportunity of a spontaneous fish supper to get everything off your chest.

Nursery rhymes involving eggs are poorly starred, especially after the 15th, at school events, coffee mornings and tea dances involving old people.

(Remember: A happy quip, or, at least, a sentence that goes up at the end, is generally all you need to make a gently agreeable old person with poor hearing laugh. You will thank us for that tip later in the year.)