Cancer - January 2013 - Funny Horoscope

55% of Cancer had a good 2012, 59% had a bad 2012. Those unaudited statistics are set to improve during 2013, but it all depends on Jupiter and Saturn who continue to have last minute celestial cliff negotiations that could, at the time of writing, go either way...

A love song in a foreign language is about to become poignant this month for all the wrong reasons. The main wrong reason is that you think you can hear a loved one's name in the foreign lyrics. (It would be ironic if their name meant something like 'ocean', 'cheesecake' or 'flannel' in a foreign language.)

Motion sickness, motioning left and motion in the sense of having a poop are all well starred apart from the last one which is very well starred until the last flush on February 5th.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19