Aquarius - January 2013 - Funny Horoscope

Jazz saxophone has rarely been more sonorous than when coming out of an Aquarius mouth than this month, especially in any kind of impromptu performance whether or not you have had any lessons in how to play the instrument. Just purse your lips and blow for optimum results (try to keep at least one eye open to judge the reaction) until tea time on 17th of the month, or when the moon is visible when you 'perform', whichever happens first.

You can't help but trust sales people who smile when they talk, can you? However, your luck in dealing with about 62.75% of these people is about to run out. To be on the safe side it is best to put on your grumpy face and shout at all smiling shop assistants for about 1.5 minutes, randomly, until either they fall over backwards or you leave slamming the door behind you (if there are no slammy doors maybe knock the Christmas tree if it is still up as you leave the building as long as there is no danger it is likely to fall onto any nativity scene with a baby Jesus).

Baggage allowance in an airport will continue to err in your favour again this month as Neptune continues it's drift sideways on a level downplane.


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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19