Cancer - September 2012 - Funny Horoscope

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me." Keep that old saying in mind this month when you finally decide to stand for some kind of political position to which you need to get elected, or enter a Sarcastic Rodeo which is renowned as a hurter of bones and feelings.

Getting advice from an elder, maybe a Fonzie figure, is well starred this month especially on problems that can be looked up quickly on Google.

A sudden burst of plot line telegraphy is a danger this month due to a freak, once in a million years, electrical storm on Uranus. This will completely remove any enjoyment from watching any kind of scripted film or television program with a plot, because you will be able to see the ending, spooky style. Now may be the moment to really piss off any member of the family who likes to say out loud what is going to happen later to anyone watching something with them - you will be able to beat their predictions with an accuracy rarely bettered since television was invented.

This month you will choose a new body part to be your favorite.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19