Remonstrating with, and then winning arguments with, imposing security guards is a new gift from the planets this month, either because you have, at last, gotten a well deserved new promotion, or, more likely, because the planets have suddenly decided to empower you with some sort of impressive apparent authority. (The trick is getting the nerve to see if it works for the first time - Saturn suggests just after 5pm on a Thursday.)

Your duck face, which is intended to mean "ooo that looks nice" or "phwore", is well starred this month and will become especially lucky this month in bars or clubs where it is completely impossible to hear anybody talking even if their mouth is in your ear.

Impulsively rearranging all the salt and pepper and sauce bottles on restaurant tables is because of the influence of a pernickety Mercury this month and isn't a sign of mental illness.