Scorpio - May 2012 - Funny Horoscope

Philosophy: The difference between that feeling of being lost, and that feeling when you don't know exactly where you are but where you want to be must be around here somewhere, is just a matter of optimism. Defer to Saturn all navigational worry's this month and enjoy the ride.

The hottest curry's in the world are well starred all month but only during the first three hours following sun up - that burning feeling in your tongue and back of your throat and maybe your chest is a message from the planets which only our truly enlightened readers of this horoscope can understand the full import of. (Remember that plain yogurt is the answer if you don't want to hear any more.)

Saturn is trying to get mini skirts back in fashion. Help it out for extra brownie points this month.

Your destiny is practicing one of those kicks to the face which knocks people out in the movies.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19