Aries - March 2012 - Funny Horoscope

Prefer pirates with a patch on their left eye rather than their right this month and well into April, especially in piracy danger spots such as in the oceans near the Philippines or the Congo, and Wall Street.

Chortling to yourself at even low volumes is poised to trigger the wrath of a fellow passenger, or a highly stressed chef in full uniform. Fight or run away, it will all depend how your adrenalin is being affected by Saturn's motions this month. (It looks about 20-80 from here.)

You will be impressed by the jumping ability of a frog this month.

Your destiny favors the number 5, 19 and 25 in any vending machine errors in your favor this month.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19