Prefer pirates with a patch on their left eye rather than their right this month and well into April, especially in piracy danger spots such as in the oceans near the Philippines or the Congo, and Wall Street.

Chortling to yourself at even low volumes is poised to trigger the wrath of a fellow passenger, or a highly stressed chef in full uniform. Fight or run away, it will all depend how your adrenalin is being affected by Saturn's motions this month. (It looks about 20-80 from here.)

You will be impressed by the jumping ability of a frog this month.

Your destiny favors the number 5, 19 and 25 in any vending machine errors in your favor this month.