Snuggly fitting multicolored underwear, particularly stripy (horizontal not vertical) or randomly spotted, is set to provide well needed support in what is set to be a period of undetermined moderate comedic peril starting this month. On a more positive note - the wedgie advisory is reduced to orange with three red spots, down from the more serious all red of last month.
Prefer the French expletive 'merde' to any English based words that rhyme with buck, runt and Romney.
Your left profile is about to become better than your right in any photograph this month, especially in any outdoors model shoots with the Eiffel Tower in the background.
This month your destiny is trying to hide from the claws of danger by dressing as a woman most of the time.