Masking your anger with scatter-cushions was never going to work, was it? It was an idea Saturn sent you one night - it wants to apologise - it was out on the town with a number of its mates when it thought that one up. You can probably get a refund on the lesser soiled cushions if you bought them within the last week or 10 days, just say Saturn sent you.

Walking on the cracks of the pavement has become dangerously starred all of a sudden, so sudden, in fact, that a number of horoscope sites have missed it completely this month. Our advice: Just don't step on the cracks at all is the simplest and risk free option for Libra all month, and, if you do, accidentally, then a small bowing jig nodding to the sky overhead is the only way to mitigate your error.

Your destiny is like an episode from the short second series of Matt Le Blanc's Joey.