Cancer - July 2012 - Funny Horoscope

Now is the time to count your ill-gotten gains in any likely completely illegal but you've been getting away with it for years bank type espionage carried out in the middle of the last decade. Like Kenny Rogers said in the song The Gambler, you never count your money when you're sitting at the table - well, the table is long gone and you need to start counting before that knock at the door on the 18th of the month...

A child will come home from school and ask you if Moses had an iPad this month. No, it's not Apple's latest marketing strategy, they are about to be told about the ten commandments written on tablets handed to Moses. Get your explanation down pat now as your child is starting to become wary about your hesitations.

This month your destiny has an argument that could stun someone into submission.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
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Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
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Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19