Aries - January 2012 - Funny Horoscope

Smashing things up on a small scale is destined to bring you joy this month, especially using a pestle and mortar like in Science Class - go for a hard two handed thump down from above your head to start with, followed by a gentle grinding until your will is meted out.

Generalisations have never been better starred than in 2012, even the broadest ones look set to provide moments of apparent insight and informed opinion even you do not immediately realise. Just beware saying anything about Israel or North Korea as the planets are on the verge of giving up on those countries and you insult them at your own peril until the 17th of March.

2012 will be the year of unbelievable prosperity for all Aries especially if you include laughter, friendship and the stars in the sky in your calculations. (If you were thinking we were talking about money then it all depends how much you have at the end of 2011.)


This feature is brought to you by

© 2000 onwards
Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19