Cancer - February 2012 - Funny Horoscope

It's time to motivate yourself to get a new motivational coach - the old one will appreciate you using the techniques he has taught you in the termination process in a Karate Kid comes good type way, but having billed you an hourly charge for the last 18 months, unlike Mr Miyagi.

Talking to yourself, including singing motivational songs to yourself at any volume, is well starred even in places where silence maybe implied but there's no actual sign up.

Choosing the right hat has never been more important than this month. Pluto will suggest a good Milliner via an advertisement in the local paper, or online.

Polishing shoes is your army drill of the month: polish in a north to westerly direction for precisely 4 minutes 45 seconds per shoe or until someone who can shout like a drill sergeant tells you to stop.

This month your destiny is atypical.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19