Aquarius - February 2012 - Funny Horoscope

"You are not cut out for this", "Your performance is not satisfactory" and "Let's just forget we ever signed that contract and go back to the way things were last July", are just three of the less than inspiring, non-whoop-whoopy type comments you will be faced with this month. Remember to cry in private and let Neptune choose the method of retribution which it will diligently mete out from the 16th of the month using office stationary, in a non death related Final Destination type way.

Beware small cars in all of their forms this month, especially when negotiating a parking space, stopping to buy lemonade from kids in your neighborhood, and doing practice emergency stops without any kind of indication while driving in slow moving traffic.

Ignoring advice from an expert will have no adverse effects for a brief window 6:36am to 8:34am on the 9th of the month.

This month your destiny has an eerie shine like a freshly radiated pot plant.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19