Aries - December 2012 - Funny Horoscope

Highly animated gossiping in restaurants while eating foods you really should concentrate on chewing more, is better than averagely starred this month, especially dorritos, tacos and burgers of any type. One downside to note is a gas alert advisory that goes sky high for fizzy drinks on alternate days starting the 5th of the month. Also be on guard for high levels of whatever they call the mess people make on tables in restaurants when the food they are eating falls out of their mouths onto the table or just drops on the way to the plate or mouth. Is there a word or phrase for that? Table crumbs? Table waste? Table road kill?

Prefer fast moving action movie style if given a choice for more activities than not this month, and definitely for cooking, hoovering and Christmas shopping.

Party Tip Of The Month: Start to look for the bottle opener now to avoid a similar incident to last year when someone tried that wedging the bottle on a table and banging down with their hand. The blood and splinters are still there but still nobody has taken responsibility after much discrete interrogation over the last year.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19