Your complete inability to do anything remotely sporty while somebody is watching is set to be helped this month by some sort of Mr Miyagi Karate Kid character. Sort of like his polish on, polish off advice but without the polish and with little kids running around.

A cramp in your leg will provide a reminder this month that you should laugh at yourself occasionally - you might as well join in because it looks hilarious especially with you wearing that Austrian leather tight shorts outfit.

This month your lucky Olympic bit is the moment you breathe in before you start speaking in your post event television interview (or the explanation you have to give to the authorities who have just pulled you to the side).