Pisces - August 2012 - Funny Horoscope

Making up realistic excuses on the fly has never been much of a talent. This has won you respect from those who look to you now as a person they can trust. For a short window on 5th-19th, Mercury's limp sideways on a conjunctive plane presents opportunities for improvised lying not seen since Enron.

Evangelical outbursts should be kept short but loud this month apart from "Oooohhhh Yessss!", "Praise be" and "Hallelujah!" which should be mellow in tone.

Impersonations of cartoon characters are set to improve this month from your recent lows. Your Stewie from Family Guy still sounds exactly like Dick van Dyke's character in Mary Poppins, work on it.

This month your lucky Olympic bit is the two seconds before jumping off the board in any diving competition.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19