Cancer - August 2012 - Funny Horoscope

Throwing horseshoes carelessly over your shoulder has rarely been better starred, especially when there is a likelihood of someone non threatening being behind you. Saturn will have your back until the 19th of the month to handle any law enforcement admin.

Shaving body hair is to become lucky this month from the 6th. It's not that you won't nick your body or face, like you usually do, you will just get a new joie de vivre to make you rejoice in the whole nicking your flesh experience as Pluto and Uranus do the equivalent celestial thing to holding hands and skipping barefootedly in the sunny poppy fields.

Your refusal to not let extreme weather stop an activity you want to accomplish this month is to be applauded, but Saturn is determined to mildly bork Cancer's efforts due to a slight it feels your star sign has given it.

This month your lucky Olympic bit is putting a jockstrap on.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19