Taurus - April 2012 - Funny Horoscope

If you are asking yourself "What would Jack Bauer do in this situation" more than five times in a day the chances are you are an international spy involved in exciting espionage, once again. That time spent practicing saying your last name, and then your first and last name in a deeply laconic English accent has been well spent...

Your clumsiness is about to increase over 60% this month, especially when playing any form of sport - throwing balls is about as badly starred as the charts have ever known - don't even think of trying to catch that baby its mother has thrown to you from that burning building until much later in the year.

Pinching, squeezing and swiping to the right are your lucky tablet screen interactions all month.

Your lucky combinations are a Kermit The Frog soap dish, a voucher for 50p off breakfast cereals and a 1.5KG dumbbell.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19