A hairstylist has moved into your neighbourhood and has set her sights on changing your style. Embrace her or avoid her it's your choice: Neptune will provide ample opportunity for diversions in any street chases if you are really trying to get away.

Ed, Dave or George are your unlucky 'mate' names this month - any ideas they have are all doomed to failure in a watery, floury, slapstick movie of old, kind of way.

April Fool's Day this year will win you a pleasing number of scalps in your traditional joke blitz, as Jupiter lends a hand.

This month your lucky combination is some ill fitting tennis shorts, a pink frizzy wig and a diplomatic no check fast pass through Charles De Gaule airport, Paris.