Taurus - September 2011 - Funny Horoscope

The little understood effect that the Moon has on dolphins is about to fascinate you when you discover it being explained in an online video documentary created by conspiracy theorists.

Prefer standing up rather than sitting down while watching the television on Tuesdays as there is a 50% increased chance a car or lorry is about to smash through your living room wall.

You are about to have a series of eureka moments on the 10th. Don't tell anyone about the second and fifth, they are too embarrassing.

You are about to absentmindedly mix the exact same serum they used when they made the 1957 horror movie The Incredible Shrinking Man. Don't worry, it was only Orange squash. "Ah the magic of the movies," thinks Planet Pluto.

This month your destiny is like the bubbles in your favorite beer.


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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19