Happy tunes played on maudlin instruments are well starred during the lulls this month as a pretty poor summer turns to hopes of a better than average amount of yellow on the trees this autumn.

Your attempts at logic will fall short of the Star Trek Mr Spock benchmark by an historically large margin of 75% at times this month, especially when dealing with government or local authority departments, traffic wardens, or policemen under-quota on their ticket allocation towards the end of the month.

Attempts at haute couture are doomed from the start this month when the local haberdasher stops taking on new clients as his stars come under the influence of a pernickety Saturn.

This month your destiny is like a kitten longing to grow up so that it can get stuck up a tree.