Capricorn - September 2011 - Funny Horoscope

Jabbing with your left arm is your lucky boxercise-sparring move this month, especially in underground unofficial sparring sessions they tell you not to talk about as the first rule.

Hippopotamus is your lucky water mammal all month, as long as you don't tell that old joke 'why the long face' near one, as there is a danger that someone in your group will actually find what you just said funny and as a consequence get slowed down sufficiently that they get caught up with by the averagely slow charging animals looking to chomp down on something annoying.

Parfait with any kind of berry in it is your lucky custard pie throwing equivalent this month in expensive restaurants, when you want to make your attitude clear using the method of slapstick.

This month your destiny shines like a beacon of hope to the free world.


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Mar 20 - Apr 19
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