Cancer - September 2011 - Funny Horoscope

Beware fat women with noticeable cleavage and arms filled with flowers this month, especially if you look kissable.

Any creative endeavor will be improved 300% this month if you are leg bendingly drunk, until well into October.

Writing the letter 's' is your lucky letter this month, especially when writing by candlelight by the window at night as the horse pulled carts canter down the gas lit road and the cats sing jazz tunes in a Walt Disney Aristocats kind of way.

This month your destiny wears the teddy boy quiff of the 50's despite the bald head of reality.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19