Aquarius - September 2011 - Funny Horoscope

Stop signs on the highway are about to become 0.5% more important than usual this month, especially on Tuesdays and when your celestial special-guest-star-partner-of-the-month Pisces is in their car on the road nearby.

Water fountains should be chosen over milk fountains or liquid cheese fountains especially in hot sunny weather conditions unless your Aquarius nose has been desensitized to stenches from the frottling activities you engaged in last month.

Beware conspicuous consumerism in all of its forms, but particularly beware the wording on those posh stiff paper carrier bags they give you in department stores when you buy something - check nothing rude has been put on one side which could doom you to Fail Blog hell for the rest of your walking life if you are photographed.

Welcome pseudo intellectuals with exactly twice the number of kisses on the cheek that they insist on giving you.

This month your destiny shares the hopes of the slightly berserk.


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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19