Stop signs on the highway are about to become 0.5% more important than usual this month, especially on Tuesdays and when your celestial special-guest-star-partner-of-the-month Pisces is in their car on the road nearby.

Water fountains should be chosen over milk fountains or liquid cheese fountains especially in hot sunny weather conditions unless your Aquarius nose has been desensitized to stenches from the frottling activities you engaged in last month.

Beware conspicuous consumerism in all of its forms, but particularly beware the wording on those posh stiff paper carrier bags they give you in department stores when you buy something - check nothing rude has been put on one side which could doom you to Fail Blog hell for the rest of your walking life if you are photographed.

Welcome pseudo intellectuals with exactly twice the number of kisses on the cheek that they insist on giving you.

This month your destiny shares the hopes of the slightly berserk.