Beware Elton John songs for much of the month, especially now that Lion King 3D has been re-released, much to the chagrin of Jupiter who thinks 3D is just a transient gimmick to make up for the lack of good scripts these days.

Your unofficial Paul Simon song writing course is coming along in leaps and bounds when you discover the 51st way to leave your lover on the 25th.

You have never thought that there is much erotic about eating a banana. Well, times are a changing this October, as sensitively lit fruit beckons.

This month your destiny shares the slightly off high note of the X Factor contestant in the pink and blue stripy dress.