Filming music videos in a field in Ireland when you intend to go topless is badly starred once again this month, especially when paparazzi have the forethought to bring their extremely long lenses with them and the farmer who's field you are using has a habit of turning up unexpectedly and gets cross about things like that.

Gargling water has never been better starred, especially at toothbrush time on the 5th and 7th of the month.

Avoid garlic offered to you by cliche looking Frenchmen on bicycles you meet down country roads with wheat fields either side. Especially if he is wearing a blue and white horizontal stripy shirt with cloves of garlic around his neck and a dark red beret on his head.

This month your destiny shares the beautiful sunset with the handsome man from a 1950s murder mystery movie who recently died all-of-a-sudden.