Virgo - May 2011 - Funny Horoscope

"No, oh no", "No, no... I don't think so", and "Hmmm, sounds interesting, but I'll have to pass," are your lucky phrases to indicate a negative this month.

A Tricetocerous is your lucky made up dinosaur name dinosaur for the first half of the month, a Brontosocerous for the second half.

Favor satsuma's and tangerines over kumquats even in a 1980s TV's Dynasty revival settings until well into August.

Choose the invisibility cloak over time travel and ending aging as the next technological breakthrough in any arguments in a bar or in a supermarket with checkout staff.

This month your destiny wants to shave its head in a Britney Spears type breakdown.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19