Capricorn - May 2011 - Funny Horoscope

Performances of the national anthem in front of large crowds has never been better starred, especially after a bottle of wine, or at least 7, 5%+ beers.

Hysterical, uncontrollable, laughter is in prospect throughout the month as Saturn takes control of all Inspector Clouseau type situations involving the accidental misfortune of a person in power or authority. Run screaming from the building if you can, but if you cannot leave the room (you are a prisoner or some such) it is best to laugh your socks off at length in their face (it will stand you in good stead with your fellow inmates who will respect your attitude towards authority without the ongoing commitment of getting a tough guy tattoo, or hours spent in the gym to make you look like a one punch and its over fighting champion.)

Waving with your left hand should be preferred to your right until the solstice in December.

This month your destiny wobbles like blancmange.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19