Cancer - May 2011 - Funny Horoscope

"Oh, it's you!", "Howdy doodie brother", "Welcome into my home, friend", but not "Hello" are your lucky terms of greeting this month. The double kiss on both cheeks greeting, favored in Russia, continues to be badly starred until the 18th at 5:36pm.

Trotting, a slow canter, but not wild gallops, should be chosen in all of your horse riding needs.

Reading by candlelight has never been better starred than from the 6th of the month. Then the order is: reading by moonlight, then by gaslight, and only then by electric light. iPad readers are unaffected by this which is just another reason for them to feel smug about themselves.

This month your destiny growls like an angry owl.

 

This feature is brought to you by theVoiceofReason.com

© theVoiceofReason.com 2000 onwards
 
Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19