Taurus - March 2011 - Funny Horoscope

You are living in a state of the constantly delayed Doh! Your reactions are on average a full two minutes late, by which time it looks like you are causing problems you are merely reacting to. You can't go on like this much longer...

Red flashing lights seem to offer the prospects of exciting danger around 3am on the 7th. It will be dull.

Tea bag reading is an under appreciated fairground fortune telling system in which the reader can tell someone's fortune depending on how the bag lands in the waste disposal after it has been removed from the cup. Neptune is keen for you to use it to liberate stupid people (especially fellow Taureans) from their money, but Saturn is hesitant.

This month your destiny is like a long held sit up as it holds a glass full of milk in its left hand.


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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
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Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19