Scorpio - March 2011 - Funny Horoscope

'Are you ready for the next step in your life?' 'There's no i in team' and 'Start your journey by pressing the Go button', are all motivational thoughts a self professed guru is likely to offer you this month in some misguided attempt at reassuring you. Jupiter says don't listen.

Jupiter is about to take you under her wing.

Knowing how to read Jupiter's messages are about to include:

  • Messages sent by changes in pictures above the fireplace,
  • Things children under 4 say to you
  • Important messages being sent to you by people waving and mouthing words behind news reporters talking straight to camera, especially on the 6 O'clock news on Thursdays.

This month your destiny is long overdue a haircut.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19