Pistachio nuts continue to be your lucky snack food, ice cream flavor, faked nut allergy excuse for withdrawal from boring meetings or family gatherings, and the outer shell for bean bag fillings this month.

What direction should you be taking this month? Say, you see a man in a nuclear power station safety suit running. Do you run in the same direction as him, or the other way? Is he running to a hazard or running away from one? Is the best option to run diagonally opposite the direction he is running in? Is that possible with the roads the way they are round your way? All these questions could be answered if we had a bigger page or an 0898 number but suffice to say you should think carefully about your options if you see someone in a nuclear safety suit running in any direction for most of the month.

It's the start of summer in the Northern Hemisphere this month and speedos have never been more poorly starred, especially Baywatch brand red ones.