Sagittarius - July 2011 - Funny Horoscope

Avoid big men running fast down Main Street dressed all in white. Give them a wide berth and avoid the instinct to obstruct or trip them up - no good will come of this as Venus takes control of fast moving white objects this month, and for the first three days of August.

Fears that you may turn into a terrorist if you were to even say the words 'Al Jazeera', the Arabic news service, will be challenged this month when, due to some strange sub terrorist kind of incident, Al Jazeera becomes the only news channel you can watch.

"Hoist by your own petard", "Many a slip twixt cup and lip", but not "Never spit into the wind" are your lucky sayings your grandmother might once have said.

This month your destiny is like a happy margarita pizza looking for just one additional topping to complete itself.


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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19